var msg = new Array();
Stamp = new Date();
today = Stamp.getDate();
msg[1] = "Sex is like money.  Only too much is enough.";
msg[2] = "Sex is the most fun I have ever had without laughing.  Woody Allen";
msg[3] = "Sex is not the answer.  Sex is the question.  "Yes" is the answer.";
msg[4] = "Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant. Henry Miller";
msg[5] = "I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.";
msg[6] = "An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex. Aldous Huxley";
msg[7] = "Don't have sex, man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.  Steve Martin";
msg[8] = "Obscenity is whatever gives the judge an erection.";
msg[9] = "Obscenity can be found in any book except the telephone directory. George Bernard Shaw";
msg[10] = "We have long passed the Victorian era, when asterisks were followed after a certain interval by a baby. W. Somerset Maugham";
msg[11] = "They are doing things on the screen these days that the French don't even put on postcards. Bob Hope";
msg[12] = "Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.  Mark Twain";
msg[13] = "It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins. Chinese proverb";
msg[14] = "The most common form of marriage proposal: "You're what?!?"";
msg[15] = "College is like a woman: you work so hard to get in, and nine months later you wish you'd never come.";
msg[16] = "I consider sex a misdemeanour, the more I miss, de meaner I get. Mae West";
msg[17] = "The only difference between friends and lovers is about four minutes.";
msg[18] = "Sex relieves tension - love causes it.  Woody Allen";
msg[19] = "If love is the answer could you rephrase the question?";
msg[20] = "Q: Do you love me?<BR>A: What do you think? That I'm doing push-ups?";
msg[21] = "Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions. Woody Allen";
msg[22] = "Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography.";
msg[23] = "Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best. Woody Allen";  
msg[24] = "Love is a matter of chemistry, but sex is a matter of physics.";
msg[25] = "Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power failure. Bob Hope";
msg[26] = "There is nothing wrong with making love with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed";
msg[27] = "Q: Does your wife smoke after sexual intercourse?<BR>A: I don't know, I've never looked.";
msg[28] = "A lady is one who never shows her underwear unintentionally.";
msg[29] = "My brain is my second favourite organ. Woody Allen";
msg[30] = "Q: What do a clitoris, a toilet and an anniversary have in common?<BR>A: Men always miss them.";
msg[31] = "Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common?<BR>A: They're intended for children, but it's the men who end up playing with them.";

function writeTip9() { 
document.write(msg[today]);
}