var msg = new Array();
Stamp = new Date();
today = Stamp.getDate();
msg[1] = "Don't be rushed. You have a lifetime!";
msg[2] = "It is impossible to smoke and look intelligent at the same time.";
msg[3] = "Sucessful people are ordinary people who do ordinary things extraordinarily well.";
msg[4] = "Plan to have at least three television-free days per week.";
msg[5] = "I cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no feet.";
msg[6] = "Learn to let go.  That is the key to happiness.  The Buddha";
msg[7] = "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.";
msg[8] = "Live as you will have wished to have lived when you are dying.";
msg[9] = "Some people walk in the rain.  Others just get wet.";
msg[10] = "Why not go out on a limb?  That's where the fruit is.";
msg[11] = "What comes from the heart touches the heart.";
msg[12] = "The use of money is all the advantage there is in having money.";
msg[13] = "It is only an illusion that you do not have what you want.";
msg[14] = "We have been promised a safe arrival but not a smooth voyage.";
msg[15] = "It's not where you've been, it's where you're going that counts.";
msg[16] = "Don't add years to your life, but life to your years.";
msg[17] = "The woods are lovely, dark and deep,<BR>But I have promises to keep,<BR>And miles to go before I sleep.";
msg[18] = "Let the world slip, we shall ne'er be younger. Shakespeare";
msg[19] = "Sign outside fish-and-chip shop: ALWAYS HOT AND ALWAYS READY";
msg[20] = "Give a man a free hand, and you'll know where to find it. Mae West";
msg[21] = "Q: How do men exercise at the beach?<BR>A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.";
msg[22] = "Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you're going to get or how long it will last.";
msg[23] = "To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove it. Cary Grant";  
msg[24] = "I've had a wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. Groucho Marx";
msg[25] = "A girl phoned me the other day and said, &quot;Come on over, there's nobody home.&quot; I went over. Nobody was home.";
msg[26] = "She's been on more laps than a napkin.";
msg[27] = "Tell him I've been too fucking busy - or vice versa. Dorothy Parker.";
msg[28] = "She speaks eighteen languages. And she can't say &quot;No&quot; in any of them.";
msg[29] = "My girlfriend can count all the lovers she's had on one hand - if she's holding a calculator.";
msg[30] = "Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man.";
msg[31] = "If you want to know the secret of my success with women, then don't smoke, don't take drugs and don't be too particular.";

function writeTip9() { 
document.write(msg[today]);
}